Like an angel has touched me, it suddenly dawned on me. It was now clearer. I am blessed. I am truly blessed. I am truly rich. I am a friend of God. God is my creator. He is the reason I am here – alive and well. If there should be any reason that I must be busy, then it should be Him. I should be busy serving Him. I should be busy following the path He had prepared. My life should be directed to what pleases God. I have always known which way to go, but still, I went astray. I traveled a different road. I was lost. I felt lost. I felt that I was going nowhere.
A few weeks ago, you would not hear me say these things. A few weeks ago, I was lost. Each day, I asked myself why I felt that everything that I have done, everything that I have accomplished led me to nowhere. Now, I realized, I was asking the wrong person.
God knows how difficult the past months were for me. I had to struggle with myself, with a feeling of emptiness. But, I am a child of God. He will never abandon me. He even called His other sons and daughters to help me and make it easier for me to find Him once again, and I thank them all.
Jovannie, a friend who is an active member of the ‘Light of Jesus’ Community here in Davao, invited us to attend a Kerygma Feast in St. Paul Church (the feast was last night). She told us Bro. Bo Sanchez will be there in person to preach God’s word. I have always wanted to attend this kind of gathering, but I was always too busy or too tired that I usually end up passing up the opportunity. Since I now have more free time (which I now see is also part of God’s work in my life), I decided not to let this opportunity simply pass me by. I invited some friends to the feast, too, as I thought it would be more comfortable to be there with friends (although I know it’s not about comfort, I just felt I needed a friend, a back-up). Then, my husband’s co-supervisor, Franco, unexpectedly requested for a swap of shifts! Franco is an active member of the community ‘Ang Lingkod ng Panginoon’. The swap of shifts would free my husband that night. He could attend the feast with me! God is so good! He sent me the best back-up I can have, my best friend in the world – Chito.
I have to admit I am not a regular Church-goer. Again, too busy, too tired, too lazy. Bro. Bo kept on saying ‘lift your worries to God’, ‘ask Him what you need’, and so I did. I asked God to fill my void. When we sang songs of worship, I asked God to help me understand how I felt. Now, it feels I am asking the right man. It was pointless that I kept asking for answers from myself. I was lost, how can I give myself the directions? I asked God, and He answered me. After months of searching, I found my answer. I shivered on the realization. With my eyes closed and my hands up in the air, I wept. I wept for I am healed. I now know that I was lost because I was looking for my path. I don’t have a path. I just have to follow God’s path.
During the Kerygma feast, I sat beside the man I love most, the man who has been with me, supported me, loved me through my doubts. I remembered when I had to endure a difficult separation years ago to later find out that God has prepared the best for me, and I was sitting beside him inside the house of God. I am in the house of God and through all that has happened to me, He kept me. All my sorrows, all the pain I felt – all of them were part of the process. I am confident that God is preparing the best for me just as He did many times before.
I have always known where to go, but still I went astray. I was lost but now, God found me. I have made my first step, that is, accepting that I am blessed and that I am a child of God. I am and will continue to be a blessing. God has wonderfully used Chito, Jovannie, Franco, the Kerygma feast leaders and Bro. Bo to help one lost daughter, and I thank them for being God’s faithful emissaries. They are a blessing to me. I am blessed and like them, I will go out and be a blessing to others.